People often “should” themselves to death (thank you Kevin Larrabee for the saying). Whether they think they should be able to lift a certain amount of weight, should follow a diet, should run a marathon, should weigh a certain amount, should earn X amount of money, should hold a certain job. Thinking they should ____ often leads to wayyy too much pressure put on themselves and can often lead to feeling pretty shitty when they can't do whatever they think they should. Feeling shitty usually leads to giving up, which, in turn, never leads to change.
Doing things because you think you should isn’t really a good reason. Instead of “shoulding” yourself, figure out an outcome you want to accomplish and know your why behind it. Then, do not focus on the outcome, but focus on the small behaviors that need to be created in order to reach your goals. When we should ourselves, we basically are saying we deserve ____ . This calls for no action on our part and essentially leaves it up to fate. It’s your choice, either you make change or you don’t. Either way, take accountability for it. Daily, people are choosing to change their lives. They are making the choice to change and are taking the first steps needed to ultimately reach their goals.
“Shoulding” yourself does not sound fun, especially when phrased that way. Life is about enjoying every second, not doing shit cuz you think you should. If I thought I should run a marathon, and then did it, and thought it was miserable the whole fucking time (which is what would happen if I ever ran that much), then why did I do it? Again, do something because you have an actual reason behind doing it, not because it’s what everyone else is doing. Like your Mom always says, “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”. Nah.
I know this will sound redundant but that's because sometimes, people need to hear this shit twice for it to register. Exercising because you think you should is a great way to guarantee you’ll find exercising miserable. You need to have a deeper value and reason behind doing something besides thinking you should.
Knowing your values, knowing what you want to accomplish and knowing your reason why is a smarter way to figure out what to do and how you will go about doing it. If you do not have a solid “why” behind the action, then as soon as you hit an obstacle, it will be very easy to just throw in the towel. How should you come up with your why and your values? All I can say to help you with that is to sit down and think. Write it out on paper. What do you value? What do you want in life? Write down why you value those things. They are not easy questions to answer but the saying, “Nothing worth having comes easy,” can be applied here. Think hard and find your answers.
I am not saying to suppress your desires. You can want some stuff because that’s what you like, but that is far different from thinking you should have some stuff or should be able to do some stuff. So, the next time you’re about to should yourself, stop. Think why, and reevaluate the situation. Don’t fall victim to should your whole life. Being able to differentiate between should and want will help you build a strong mind that you have control over, which will ultimately lead you towards success. Success is what we all want in the end, isn’t it? So let’s f’n be “successful.”